house of discipline

by Yellow Alex

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credits

released June 27, 2017

"house of discipline"



written, produced, performed and mixed by
alexander gedeon

co-produced by tony leonard

additional mixing by aaron childs



special thanks to

donald green
jonathan hart makwaia
quddus sinclair
arvo pärt
don van vliet
peabody southwell
aaron childs
billy childs
evan cristo
david goodwin
anthony kronfle
alberto lopez
dinora walcott
danny lane
tony leonard



photography by jade mainade



all music and lyrics written by alexander gedeon
except

"prisoner of fashion"
music by alexander gedeon, david goodwin and evan cristo
"kill me (roller coasta)"
music by alexander gedeon and evan cristo
"towards a poor disco"
music by alexander gedeon, david goodwin, evan cristo and alberto lopez

all vocals and instruments performed by alexander gedeon
except

evan cristo played live drums on "kill me (roller coasta)", "crash into the blue", "towards a poor disco" and performed additional background vox on "we can't be friends anymore"
david goodwin played bass on "prisoner of fashion" and "towards a poor disco"
frank abraham played bass on "kill me (roller coasta)"
aaron miller played live drums on "letter from a suicidal actor"
corey fogel played live drums on "idolize me"
alberto lopez played synths on "towards a poor disco"


the live drums on "kill me (roller coasta)" and "idolize me" were recorded by billy burke at the loveless motel, sierra madre, ca
the live drums on "letter from a suicidal actor" were recorded by sean guerin in north hollywood at delux's studio


all songs were mastered by alexander gedeon except for "kill me (roller coasta)", mastered by brian "big bass" gardener





"actors should be like martyrs burnt alive,
still signaling to us from their stakes."

- antonin artaud





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Track Name: letter from a suicidal actor
hey hey hey hey hollywood--
i can't catch a break!
under lights, burning up
twitching on a stake
i sang my audition
and you did not reply
cut me up, cut me down, cut me out--
make me wanna die!

she cries, she screams:
"i'm livin' the dream!"
she cries, she screams:
"i'm livin' the dream!"

now, early in my youth
i was struck by destiny
i could feel the hand of god
open up to me
so fuck you lucky stars
shining up my street!
i cast you as a rag doll--
straight to dvd!
oh! yeah! ooh!

she cries, she screams:
"i'm livin' the dream!"
she cries, she screams:
"i'm livin' the dream!"

i can manifest the best
with teardrops on my eyes
you see me staring into death
but i'm not gonna die!
cross my head and cross my heart
cross up on the wall
i can feel the dynamite inside the very small
i can ride the devastation early in the morn
i can hear my mama call me even when she's gone!

she cries, she screams:
"i'm livin' the dream!"
she cries, she screams:
"i'm livin' the dream!"
Track Name: kill me (rolla coasta)
and i die before you kill me, and i die, and i die
and i die before you kill me, and i die, and i die

i get high, i get low, Rolla Costa
when i drive to your house in silverlake
oh i know, no i know, i'm in for trouble
when i roll, roll the dice, and watch 'em break
you say you want my baby in your body, Rolla Costa
and you 'want to bottle up my DNA'
but you give away my place inside your bedroom
the evidence is all over the place

and i die before you kill me, and i die, and i die
and i die before you kill me, and i die, and i die

you got style in your nouveau-riche apartment
but you break my heart so very awkwardly
i can't believe that this is how we're ending--
a broken heart is so embarrassing!
close my eyes, hear you scream "pheromone!"
all the sweet sadistic shit you used to say!
i know that it's too late to say i love you
in retrospect it's better off that way

and i die before you kill me, and i die, and i die
and i die before you kill me, and i die, and i die
Track Name: idolize me
i wanna be a demigod of the working class
in tight white versace shoes
i wanna be a master of experience and color
i wanna atomize the room

oh -- i want you wrapped around my finger
yeah -- i only want commitment that i can taste

idolize me, idolize me
never leave me alone
idolize me, idolize me
cut the meat to the bone

i wanna create a brand new persona
i wanna freeze the teardrops in my eyes
with a drop of blood i could seal this
with a little blood i could fly

yeah --i wanna be a car accident
i -- promise that you'll never turn away

idolize me, idolize me
never leave me alone
idolize me, idolize me
cut the meat to the bone

did you see me in my interview?
did you turn the page?
did your realize this could be permanent?
caterpillar: butterfly
Track Name: untitled (carol)
When I want companionship, I have a friend I can visit down the street. I try hard not to see her once a month, and also one or two times a week.



Carol came here from Shanghai, and in the daytime, she studies real estate. This is just the thing that she does on the side, on the sly, when it's late.

She asked me: 'do you have a thing that you do?'
I said: 'yes, I play guitar in a band.'
She asked me: 'do you think I could listen to a song?'

So I played one from the iPhone in my hand.



The third time that I saw her, she let me make her come. Afterward, she said 'you don't have to pay', but still I gave her some. Then, for a time, we held one another, and we laid beneath a stiff white sheet. She told me: 'I hate you a thousand times', but I know that isn't really what she means.



One morning, driving in my truck, I suggested she and I hit the beach. She smiled and it seemed like a pretty good idea but it also seemed like. I think we were both just really tired
Track Name: house of discipline
in my house of discipline,
there's a girl locked up in the cupboard
in my house of discipline,
there's no space for contradiction

in my house of discipline,
there's no room to fuck with mixed emotions
in my house of discipline,
there's no way i could be your lover
Track Name: prisoner of fashion
i'm the darkness in your soul
when you're swiping, when you're scrolling, and you slip
and you're losing self-control
girl the tighter and the tighter i can grip
prisoner of fashion, baby
prisoner of fashion, baby

i'm the rumble in your stomach
as the leopards and the zebras starts to gnash
i'm the fake-ass way you smile, pouty lips
as the cameras point and flash
i'm the headshots on the wall
as you squeeze into the jeans that just don't fit
i'm the headphones on your neck
bright and shiny, wrapped up tight in neon shit
prisoner of fashion, baby
prisoner of fashion, baby

i'm the viral to the spiral
in the bathroom when you're puking up your guts
wipe the hatred off your lips --
give a kiss -- cos it's time for you to strut !

yeah !
only $99.99.99 !
awwww turn !
Track Name: crash into the blue
from the moment you stepped up to the bar
i knew that it was gonna go down
the way you turned around in your chair
it's like i'm flying in a plane
afraid that it was gonna go down
cause i'd forgotten what it was to be high
and when you let me hold your hand
you told me that i'm easy to read
i really hope that i'm not easy to read
cause then you would already know
the things that i don't wanna say
and i wouldn't have a place to hide!

i don't really understand
is there a reason that it has to be hard,
a reason that it has to be hard?
i don't really understand
is there a reason that it has to be hard,
a reason that it has to be hard?

beneath the second glass of wine
i start to wonder what has happened to me
i wonder why you make me feel weak
is it because i been depressed?
i spent the whole summer under the ground
and now it's bubbling from under the ground
november is my favorite time
and now we're blowing down the street
i really love it when you make fun of me
it's like i'm climbing on a stage
the way it happens in a dream
i can't remember any lines!

i don't really understand
is there a reason that it has to be hard,
a reason that it has to be hard?
i don't really understand
is there a reason that it has to be hard,
a reason that it has to be hard?

i'm going down
and i'm crashing in the blue
i'm going down
and i'm falling into you
i'm going down
and i'm crashing in the blue
and i'm crashing in the blue
Track Name: we can't be friends anymore
i heard you say that you love me
like a brother
and i had to look away
i'm on a path -- it's complicated,
you don't have to
know exactly what to say

the days don't lie
we both tried
we can't be friends anymore
i feel the weight
i hate to say
we can't be friends anymore

i never knew i was co-dependent --
i thought it was only you,
til the shit hit the fan!
i see myself from a distance
at a distance --
it's hard for me to understand!

oh! i think we know
to let this go
we can't be friends anymore
even though my head loves you,
my heart is through
we can't be friends anymore
we can't be friends anymore